I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
