make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
