I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
