I only kidnapped one of them. chill
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Who died my cat blue again?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
