I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
