I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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