I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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