I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
