She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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