fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
