I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
