I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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