Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
only if we run a train.
done.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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