help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
