YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
