im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize