worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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