So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
