Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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