I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
