I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
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