My cat gives me a boner
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
