Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
