i may or may not be watching the land before time
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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