first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
