planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize