awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
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I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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