The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
