if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
