Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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