...so i touched it.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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