Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
