Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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