Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
sarcasm needs its own font
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
