He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
