I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
