and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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