i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
