I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
