So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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