I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
