Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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