just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
