..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
