im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize