My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
