i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
