Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
