Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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