please come you make the beer taste better
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
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I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
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Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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