She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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