He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
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Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
the liver wants what the liver wants
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With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Help. Why am I so naked?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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