yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
