I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
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