I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
