I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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