can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize