My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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