K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
