I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
