So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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