Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
